Today’s quote is from one of the most thought provoking books I’ve ever read, Rob Bell’s Sex God. I’ve never read anything else by Rob Bell, and I realize he is pretty controversial (People either love him or hate him. But I don’t know anyone who’s read this particular book that hasn’t enjoyed it and been really caused to think.)
The subtitle of this book is “Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality.” I’d never heard anyone talk specifically about the relationship between spirituality and sexuality, how could I resist reading that? Also…one of the chapters is called “Whoopee Forever.” Aren’t you curious?
Today’s quote is from the chapter “Sexy on the Inside”, which is one that made me think more than just about any thing I’ve ever read. I’d love to type out the whole chapter, but I think that might be a little long for you to read (and maybe unethical?) But here are the parts that got my attention the most, covering a variety of what he talks about in this chapter. Join me in being provoked to think:
“We’re severed and cut off and disconnected in a thousand ways, and we know it, we feel it, we’re aware of it every day. It’s an ache in our bones that won’t go away.
So from an early age we have this awareness of the state of disconnection we were born into, and we have a longing to reconnect.
Scholars believe that the word sex is related to the Latin word secare, which means “to sever, to amputate, or to disconnect from the whole.” This is where we get words like sect, section, dissect, bisect.
Our sexuality, then, has two dimensions. First, our sexuality is our awareness of how profoundly we’re severed and cut off and disconnected. Second, our sexuality is all of the ways we go about trying to reconnect…”
And later in the chapter…
“If we take this understanding of our natural state seriously, we have to rethink what sexuality is. For many, sexuality is simply what happens between two people involving physical pleasure. But that’s only a small percentage of what sexuality is. Our sexuality is all of the ways we strive to reconnect with our world, with each other, and with God.
A friend of mine has given his life to standing with those who have been forgotten and oppressed the most. He’s in his early thirties, he’s single, and he talks openly about his celibacy. What makes his life so powerful is that he’s a very sexual person, but he has focused his sexuality, his “energies for connection,” on a specific group of people.
Some of the most sexual people I know are celibate.
They sleep alone.
They have chosen to give themselves to lots of people, to serve and give and connect their lives with beautiful worthy causes. These friends help me understand why the Red Light District in Amsterdam is so sexually repressed. If you’ve ever walked through this part of the city, where prostitution is legal, you know that it can be a bit jarring to have the women in the windows gesturing to you, inviting you to come in and have “sex” with them.
What is so striking is how unisexual that whole section of the city is. There are lots of people “having sex” night and day, but that’s all it is. There’s no connection. That’s, actually, the only way it works. They agree to a certain fee for certain acts performed, she performs them, he pays her, and then they part ways… There’s no connection whatsoever. If she for a moment connected with him in any other way than the strictly physical, it would put her job, and therefore her financial security, in jeopardy.
And so in the Red Light District there’s lots of physical interaction and no connection. There are lots of people having lots of physical sex – for some it’s there job – and yet it’s not a very sexual place at all.
There’s even a phrase that people use with a straight face – “casual sex.” The rationale is often, “It’s just sex.”
Exactly. When it’s just sex, then that’s all it is. It leaves the person deeply unconnected.
You can have be having sex with many, and yet you’re alone. And the more sex you have, the more alone you are.
And it’s possible to be sleeping alone, and celibate, and to be very sexual. Connected with many.
What do you think?
Hey Renee, I might just be your Group C…someone who reads all his book, gleans some, doesn’t hate him, yet doesn’t overly like what he says (in some specific cases) either. HA! How’s that for confusing?
I have read this before, although it was a few years ago, and I’m still waiting on InterLibrary Loan to give me his most current two.
In the meantime…
but I also know that it may have be because some of his teachings I find taken out of biblical context.
I remember feeling 50/50 about this book. Certain parts (like that first section your rewrote) I found *VERY* fascinating and for that reason more or less would recommend it to others. I thought he put it very well when he wrote, “Our sexuality, then, has two dimensions. First, our sexuality is our awareness of how profoundly we’re severed and cut off and disconnected. Second, our sexuality is all of the ways we go about trying to reconnect…”
*
Although, I do remember reading some parts that I just didn’t agree with. Unfortunately, for the sake of my argument, I can’t remember what they were (probably a good thing I remembered what I LIKED as opposed to what I DIDN’T),
However, on the whole, for the non-Christian, post- modern brain, he can really be an excellent person to get the cogs working.
Sarah M
Hey Ree…I know some of Rob Bell’s stuff, but have only perused this book…if I have a chance I will read it.
Believe it or nit, I my be about write a review of “Eat, Pray, and Love”..there’s a story there..tell ya later!
t
Interesting, I will check it out- one day!
Since you are on the subject, this is such a great read relating to the connection between intimacy and spirituality.
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2010/05/intimate-issues-making-of-marriage-bed.html